‘Hey mommy’ comes a girl, running into the arms of her mother and sits happily snuggled in her lap. Mom-child duo dreams of unrestricted acts of feasting, and unlimited shopping dates. That’s when a group of nagging aunties step into action. Trying to be as nosy as possible, they shoot moms right at the point as to when is she planning to have another child (They feel it’s their birth right to set your fallopian tubes right and monitor their function. Oh no! They seem to regulate your biological clock ladies. Never mind! Just ask them to be your baby’s diaper changing nannies for a couple of hours and boom! They vanish the next minute). Cons of having a single child you see!
Amidst all the clutter and chaos of innumerable questions, the decision of having single child is more of their personal choices than making their ovaries work overtime. The ‘one and done’ squad has been increasing for quite sometime now not only in India but globally too. Over half of all British families have one child, and in the past 20 years the number of only-child families has doubled in the US as well. Mothers of singletons have their share of misgivings. They agonize over everything going overboard – over-scheduling, under-scheduling, over-medicating, overfeeding, mollycoddling, everything organic etc.
Additionally, they can never put a deaf ear to inevitable trolls as to how selfish moms of single child are. Most of them spill out it’s better to have no children at all than to have just one, as if it was a dreadful mistake to have the most loved creature in all the world. This badgering can make even the most resolute parents question their decision which goes on like, ‘are we creating lonely misfits who won’t understand the joys of sharing and companionship?’ What about the inevitable storms of life? Divorce, disease and death? They ponder over the fact that the stakes are high if one is a lonely number. After all, parents are making a decision, which children can never undo. Nevertheless, there are legions of parents for whom the number one matters much. Perhaps, it might be anything from biology, finances or their share of luck.
As per studies by University of Texas at Austin, that includes the results of over 500 students, 16 behavioural traits were studied. Remember the fear that singletons were lonely misfits? Well, onlies rank as same as children with siblings on all metrics. In terms of motivation and self-esteem, singletons score higher which is all due to so called ‘parental vigilance’.
Singletons can be made or broke by their upbringing during childhood. Positive influence boosts their self-confidence and valor. They are said to be possessing world’s greatest superpowers if fed right in terms of moulding their behavior right from young brain.
To all the moms of singletons out there! Find your happiness. No matter how many children you have, they can never be happy if you are unhappy. Cuddle your bundle tight, teach her alphabet and find your wings! For, she’ll learn to unfold hers too! Cheers to happy parenting all you lovely mommies!